29 Comments
User's avatar
Pearl's avatar

"For even as they mourn,

beneath and between their sobs

lies a breath of relief from a burden,

for the necks are free of the weight I came with,

and the lotus has bloomed in a smelly swamp."

The undercurrent of these lines is choking me, I feel like you've dissected my being and existence just to write this piece.

This is a kind of piece that makes you stare at the wall and demands a staring contest with your soul. It asks you to look back, forces you to observe and mourn, the surroundings. I'm on my bloody knees for this one Sana, how are you so damn good. I love the feel of this one, the brutal honesty and if course, the touch of it hitting just the right spots. Ooofffff

Sana's avatar

Oh My God, you are the only one I feel could truly understand the bare agony behind this, I was avoiding this thought for a very long time, but you know how it grows till you give it attention?

I wrote it and now that the realisation has pushed me into abyss it also brought me back because I am not more running from the coarse bitter truth.

Even though you could resonate so deeply, i would never wish anyone to feel that way. I love you pearl and just remember you matter 😭❤️‍🩹🫂

Pearl's avatar

LOVE YOU TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's the thought that counts. the way we observe but forget about it, is terrifying. of course its a very vast concept but your short poem covered that agony in a new blanket of light. can't stop fangirling over you though, hehe.

Sana's avatar

I am gonna combust with all this giddiness one day 😭

Pearl's avatar

I would loveeee thattttt

Dashvanth's avatar

I will save this to revisit it multiple times. Your writing is exceptional, Sana. 💫

Sana's avatar

Thank you, it means alot ✨

Theo's avatar

Well now I'm sad.

But of course I have to add that observations even when repeatedly signifying the same thing do not strictly imply any general truth. Probably will write something on this but all the experience a human gains over a lifetime is comparable to a single atom in the cosmos. All this is to say that even if every single woman (with the exception of yourself) was factually proven to be a burden that doesn't indicate anything about you ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Sana's avatar

I agree to that without question. That observation does not imply an absolute truth. And these experiences are part of an endless cosmos, but that only seems fair and relieving in an intellectual discussion. When one sees it happening all around, covering the circumference of her vision, her limited universe. It becomes a reality for her, inability to do anything to change it suffocates her, and that's when such poems are born. A quite proof of her trial, insights and fortitude.

Theo's avatar

The problem is we've evolved to notice and apply patterns everywhere we see them, even to the point of falsity. Half of the statistics our brain does intuitively ends up being wrong and the common act of extrapolation has no logical basis. What you need is to use the shortcomings of the brain and selectively provide it with data that supports what you wish to believe (cherry picking bias plus confirmation bias = big wins)

Sana's avatar

Like using the brain to fool itself in order to attain self peace no matter it is based on forced or limited data. I think we do this even involuntarily, when we desperately want to believe something, our brain generates patterns and hallucinates to make a solid foundation on which hope can stand. But when it comes to the matters which largely and frequently impacts our body due to the emotional and mental exhaustion, perceived almost like a threat, the brain is more than vigilant and on toes, so it will be a task to selectively provide parts of data while hiding and gaslighting the other parts.

Theo's avatar

Stop thinking so much and just accept you aren't a burden pls

Sana's avatar

Okay kind sir, I will try to

Paro's avatar

ANALOGY PRODIGY WHOOOOO? BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL AF

Sana's avatar

Master 🙂‍↕️

Emily Richardson's avatar

I enjoyed this. I've never thought of adding an afterward to my poems before. You have inspired me and I've subscribed. I look forward to interacting in the comments of our poetry :)

Sana's avatar

Oh thank you so much it means alot🥰. I added after word in this poem because I wanted to guide my readers in the intended direction of my poem 🤎

Fatima Z.'s avatar

Eheehe you kept it as it is 🤭🤭

Wonderful analogy, absolutely nailed the point!

Sana's avatar

Would I dare to oppose The queen of vocab and poems ? 🏰✨

Fatima Z.'s avatar

Oh hehe 🤭 sharma gae main

Areeba♡'s avatar

you write so beautifully sana, you must write more often.

i’m blown away. 💌

Sana's avatar

I am trying to get back, inshallah will write more often 🥹

Aliza's avatar

Your absence in anyone's life is their biggest loss sana!! You're a seraphic soul and blessing in this world— such a wise and kind woman, always remember that!! YOU'RE NOT A BURDEN 🫂🤍 so so beautifully written ✨

Sana's avatar

Ah Aliza, your words has that comfort one looks for in strangers 😭❤️‍🩹. The only person I don't want to be a burden to us myself, until that I guess we are okay 🥹

Aliza's avatar

Love you so much sana 💕✨😭 truee fr, then what's the even point of living when you're feeling your own existence as a burden!! May that day never come

Ameliorating A's avatar

This was really really so beautifully written, Sana. For real. What should I even say. I know this wasn't meant it to be this way, but you're a blessing and not a burden. Just so well written, really <33

Sana's avatar

Thankyou so much Ammu, ily ❤️‍🩹

Ameliorating A's avatar

Ily more <333

It’s my pleasure <3 :))

Aster solenne's avatar

Beautiful piece love! Absolutely beautiful!💖